May 21, 2004
Bridging the Creek
Election time is here and I vote for building more bridges over, (or tunnels under), Mosquito Creek in NV.
This Friday wasn't the first time I figured I'd "short-cut" through the park, only to discover Mosquito Creek separating me from my destination. I was on the Upper East Side of the Creek trying desperately to find Earl LaBounty's house, (Upper West Side of the Creek). If you are unfamiliar with the LaBounty name, just visualize an elderly man who drives a CRV. With my road bike hoisted over one shoulder, I stumbled along the rocky-rooty trail. I must have walked 6 or 7 blocks through forested nothingness, following the creek. What was really getting to me was how there could be so much forested nothingness surrounded by these residential monstrosities. As the rain started to fall through the dense forest canopy I started to weigh the option of tiptoeing across the less-deep sections of creek. For the first time in a long time my common sense prevailed. I continued my trudge another few blocks eventually finding my salvation, a non-descript metal bridge.
Posted by jmclean at 08:20 PM | Comments (0)
May 17, 2004
Whistled Away
This weekend started with the idea of riding Whistler's Mountain Bike Park. Ingenious, a chairlift set up to transport me and my HUGE bike to the top of a plethora of the bike specific trails. For good measure we then added in a deluxe hotel suite, gourmet meals, a night in the club, and six good friends. You may think that that is just another weekend in the life of Jenn. If only that were true, however, this weekend past I felt like I really had it all!
Late Friday evening after packing our two cars full of;
6 people
3 mountain bikes
1 road bike
3 snowboards
1 pair of skis
And enough food, clothes and equipment to keep us satisfied we headed up the Sea to Sky highway.
Arriving at the "luxurious" Tantalus Hotel in downtown Whistler we settled in. Through the darkness, we could pick out the two hot tubs, pool, tennis courts and of course the surrounding mountain shadows. Here we mentally and physically prepared for our weekend ahead with some beverages, appetizers, entertainment and relaxation, (AKA booze, chips, TV and the couch).
Saturday morning we woke to Jenn and Richard's rendition of Nat King Cole's "Unforgettable" and the Marching Band playing their rendition of "The Flintstones Theme". Nothing beats melodies in the morning!
After the early morning tunage we hit the Hill. Starting off a little uncertain, nervous and timid we rode B-Line. Next was A-Line and from there our confidence was building; Dirt Merchant, Fantastic, Heart of Darkness, A-Line, Boneyard, A-Line, Boneyard, B-Line, A-Line, Boneyeard and A-Line. Run after run of progressively faster descents, smoother lines and bigger hits. By the end of the day my hands hurt, my shoulders ached, I could feel my quads and calves threatening to crap, I had sunny-ed my cheeks, and I had a permi-grin. Well worth my $40.00 lift ticket!
Back at the hotel we dined like royalty. We whet our appetite with a meat lasagna appetizer. We moved on to the main course of cheddar-filled smokies served with a side Wonderbread hotdog buns, and our chose of ketchup, mustard and relish condiments. We soon discovered danger in the wieners. If you poked them in just the right spot with just enough pressure out would squirt an uncontrolled medley of boiling cheese and meat.
Still in the hotel, at around 11:00 we had a scare. On of the group had made full body contact with the evil couch and was being tempted by the sleep magnets. The attack came without notice and took a full group effort to revive our snoozy comrade. With much prodding, pushing, begging and sweet-talking we managed to release the couch's grip on Ti Ti and get to the club as a complete clique.
Sunday 9:40 AM, I find myself back in the room, woken to the marching band's rendition of "the Flintstones", again. Not wanting to miss any of the much-improved group's beats I open the sliding glass door and let the sweet melodies flow in. As I started to fully regain consciousness I notice there are signs of life in our hotel room. I can already smell the bacon and coffee aromas mingling forming a mouth water scent. All I can say is Breakfast of Champions! With this one meal we were re-stocked with enough energy and calories to carry us through our entire day.
At this point I head off in the direction of Pemberton. The road bike was flying until I decided it was time to turn back. Note to self: a 50-minute bike ride with a tailwind and a noticeable decrease in elevation equals a not entirely enjoyable return trip. 1 hours and 30 minutes later, almost double the time of the first half, I was back in the hotel hot tub. There I sat sipping on some simple sugars, and preparing for my return to Vancouver's grind.
Posted by jmclean at 06:44 PM | Comments (0)
May 11, 2004
Bananaholic
adj.
1. Related to or resulting from banana, any of several treelike Asian herbs of the genus Musa, especially M. acuminata, having a terminal crown of large, entire leaves and a hanging cluster of fruits.
2. Containing or preserved in banana.
3. Suffering from bananaism.
I have recently realized that both my longtime roommate and myself suffer from bananaism. We generally get struck on the same days with the symptoms. These include, but are not limited to:
1. purchasing large numbers of bananas
2. believing that we actually enjoy eating bananas
3. forgetting they ripen and turn black before we have any desire to eat them
About one week after we get hit, the aftermath begins. I relocate the fruit from our fruit dish on the counter into the freezer. This is a bad habit that I picked up from my Mom. The original idea was that the frozen bananas would be ready to make baking goods out of, however, in our case we have just ended up with dozens of black bananas sitting in our freezer door. This, (with good reason), drives my roommate insane.
Now not being one to enjoy wasting food I have started depleting the fruit by baking banana baked goods. Banana breads, banana cakes, banana muffins, just to name the dominant byproducts of our surplus. Recently I have mixed it up and the last batch of muffins was fantastic, (Jen's Banana Cranberry Muffins).
However, the true reason of this entry is to make public knowledge of the disease that is out there. It has the power to take over, not only your fruit dish, but your freezer door as well. It takes a strong person to pass by the 49?/lb produce and not purchase half a dozen. To fight this I have ?borrowed? a couple steps from AA and made slight modifications. Hopefully this will help any others who are being weakened by the starchy yellow life destroyer.
1. We admitted we were powerless over bananas ? that our lives had become unmanageable.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all, (this does not mean baking them a banana loaf).
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong in purchasing more bananas promptly admitted it.
Posted by jmclean at 06:25 PM | Comments (1)
May 06, 2004
The Bad Driver
Have you ever been the victim of the 10-kilometres-under-the-speedlimit-driver? You know the scenario, you are on a single lane highway with no passing lanes, (or when there is one there is oncoming traffic), and there is a car ahead driving UNDER the limit. In the most infuriating circumstances the weather is cooperative, road conditions are fine and the roads are reasonably empty. Everybody knows that you should always do at least the posted limit. According to my Dad?s friend Jack 1.1 times the limit is acceptable. As well, the yellow curve limit signs aren?t actually the law. I learned that from Lisa when I was 16, she informed me that those were, ?just suggestions?.
Well, that being said, I was the 10-kilometres-under-the-speedlimit-driver today. I took advantage of the fact that the sun was shining, and the Sea to Sky was screaming to be driven at Mach 5. It is funny how upset some people get at you and how fast the line of traffic becomes 30 or 40 cars. I originally wasn?t doing this as a study of human impatience but merely taking my time getting back to the office. By the end I was amazed at how people were getting so agitated, swerving back and forth to find a place to cram the gas pedal to the floor. The Sea to Sky is the best place to pull this, because when the ?faster? cars finally do get the opportunity to ZIZZZZ by, they can usually be seen at the next stoplight or construction flag person, (no more than two cars in front of me).
I started to enjoy this study and began practicing my favourite ?trick? I learned while driving in the interior. I am usually the victim of this ?trick?, but not today. Please note this works especially well if you have a new powerful automobile and have no idea how to corner it. You start by driving real slow for the curvy technical sections of road and then when there is a passing lane or a dotted middle line you accelerate. Let me tell you, no better way to make friends on the road than pulling this gag two or three passing lanes in a row.
Happy Driving!
Posted by jmclean at 06:51 PM | Comments (0)
April 22, 2004
Healthy Eating
How many Voortman cookies does it take to make Jen feel like crap??
I believe the answer is about ? dozen less than what she had just eaten. Can we really blame her for her indulgence? Damn rights we can. She should have known from past experiences that she should only buy the number of cookies she will comfortably eat in one sitting.
The visit to the produce store at lunch was the start of all the trouble. She headed up with the best intentions, fruits, vegetables and some burrito shells for a healthy dinner. On the way to the till they had slyly placed the huge COOKIE display, (ok, I am lying, it is hiding in the back corner and the only reason Jen went past there was to buy cookies), but let?s blame the produce store and their clever product placement.
Back at work, (four cookies later), Jen tried to stop the munching by checking the Voortman cookie website. This was in hopes of finding product information proving she was poisoning herself one delicious shortbread cookie at a time. No luck, and really no surprise, there were no fat/calorie/carbohydrate counts or an ingredient list. Jen merely found a picture of ten, (suspicious slender), employees and a clever flash media player spinning the various cookies.
Long story short the cookie jar at home will be empty for one more day.
On a short, somewhat related aside:
If you are eating those little milk chocolate Easter eggs, you know the ones wrapped in shiny, seasonally coloured, tinfoil, take a quick step back and read the package. ?Chocolate flavoured candy? was what I read on my most recent purchase. If you wonder what makes the chocolate flavour it is probably the soybean oil and sucrose/fructose mixture, number one and two on the ingredients. Long live chocolate flavoured soybean oil.
Posted by jmclean at 06:25 PM | Comments (1)